Some Crazies

I work for tech support for a major corporation in their phone and Internet repair department. I hear some really crazy things, and I write some of these down… just for kicks.

“The Internet is all I have to live for right now!”
(Oh Really! Don’t worry, I don’t have a life either.)

“Honey, I don’t think there is a modem here, I think they are fucking around with my brain, excuse the language.”
(Well isn’t that special!... EVERYONE with our services has a modem!)

“That’s goofy! OH WOW, It works!”
(Oh Wow! I know what I am talking about!)

“You know, people can’t live without internet.”
(Is that why the suicide level jumps when the internet goes out?)

“I have gotten my big computer out of the pawn shop.”
(Interesting… was it next to the big guns?)

“Hello… I’m calling about my phone…. Apparently I don’t have any tones… in my phone.”
(Have some happy pills this morning?)

“We don’t have any high speed in our house today.”
(So everyone is rrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllyyyyyyyy slow?)

“I am an illiterate computer.”
(I believe you!)

“I should unscrew the cable from the outback?”
(Let’s go outback tonight!)